One of my biggest pet peeves, if not my biggest peeve, is when people waste my time. Between working two jobs and some other things on the side, I don’t have much free time. When I decide that something or someone is worth enough to me to spend that time with them, it is a big deal. Not that they should think it is a big deal, that would be rather haughty of me, wouldn’t it? Rather, it is a big deal to me. Recently, I have encountered more and more people willing to waste my time. Maybe they don’t know how important it is to me but I doubt it. I have also heard more and more about other people wasting my friends’ time in the exact same manner.
I’m sure that this will be insulting to someone out there but I find perpetual tardiness to be completely, unacceptably, rude. If you find yourself constantly running late, why aren’t you figuring out why? Why aren’t you addressing those reasons and working on fixing them? If I make plans with someone to meet up at 7:30 and it will take me a half hour to get to our meeting place, I leave at 7. If it takes me longer than that, I take that into consideration for the next time and leave at 6:50. Is this a product of my generation? The people who always think “Me Me Me?” I don’t know. I honestly don’t know if it is a product exactly but I have found a higher acceptance for it among my peers. When people are constantly so late that I spend more than 15–20 minutes waiting? I get pissed. 15-20 minutes is enough time for me to get other things done before meeting up.
Would you be consistently late to your job? Chances are, no. You wouldn’t. You know that constant tardiness is a mark against you and could get you fired. Why do you think that your friends couldn’t fire you? You are showing yourself to be unreliable, undependable, and untrustworthy. Those aren’t features that I value in my friends. I want to be your friend because I want to be able to trust in you and rely that you will be there if I need you. That is how I decide who my friends are. Can I rely on you? There are very few of my current friends who I would go out of my way to keep around if they started wasting my time.
With all of this being said, I am 1000% more forgiving if I get a text message. “Hey, running late!” You’d think that would be easy enough. But some people have problems with that (more on this later). Also, there are some people who I am more inclined to forgive and overlook tardiness than others. Have a family and kids? Dude. You good. Kids make staying on time harder. They just do. I am also more forgiving if you say ahead of time “Hey, I need to get some things done before we meet up. I should be done by 5.” This lets me know “Hey, I want to meet up with you but these things are important and I need to get them done first.” Forgiven.
Want to know what is not forgivable? Making plans with me and then not showing up with no warning or text. I generally refer to this in terms of my job: A No-Call, No-Show. This is so incredibly unacceptable and a massive waste of my time. Want to cancel plans with me? Fine. Tell me. Chances are someone else also wanted to hang out in the same time and you got the slot on a first-come-first-serve basis. Therefore, if you decide that you aren’t going to follow through, please tell me so I can make alternate plans. You think I’ll be mad? Yeah, probably. But wanna know what? I’m 100x more furious if you don’t tell me you’re canceling our plans. Being a No-Call, No-Show friend is the ultimate waste of my time and is really effing hurtful. I make time in my schedule to hang out with you and you don’t have the courtesy to send a “hey, can’t make it” text message? No. Just no. You do this, you are an asshole. Period.
I have heard from multiple friends that this happens to them too and we all have the same reaction. WHY ARE YOU BEING AN ASSHOLE?!?!
Don’t be an asshole. If you are going to waste someone’s time, send a text.